Dear Dave,

My husband and I are having arguments about money where our children are concerned. They are both 16, and I think they should have part-time jobs and be learning the value of work. He feels they’re only young once and wants them to enjoy being teenagers. He also gives them money anytime they ask. I want our kids to have fun, too, but this is beginning to cause tension in our relationship. I’d love your advice.

Kaytee

Dear Kaytee,

I understand your concern. I’m sure your husband has a good heart, but by doing this he’s acting like a friend instead of a parent. In the process, he’s allowing them to be nothing but takers and consumers. He’s setting them both up for lifetimes of helplessness and ridiculous expectations without realizing it.

But yes, kids should absolutely learn to work, make money and manage it wisely from an early age. My wife and I gave nice gifts to our kids from time to time, but they also worked and made money for themselves. And the nicer gifts we gave them were for special occasions. Even then we didn’t go crazy with things.

Still, the biggest problem you and your husband are experiencing is a communication breakdown. Your husband should stop being so impulsive, and grow a backbone where the kids are concerned. You’ve recognized this—and you’re right about it—so it’s up to you to take the first step in finding a solution.

Try sitting down with him, just the two of you, and sincerely explaining your feelings. Let him know you love him and how generous he is. But let him know, too, you’re worried this is having a negative impact on your children and why. Talk it out, openly and honestly, and try to agree on some changes together. There’s a middle ground here, but it’s going to take some time and effort from both of you to reach it.

Most of all, it means you two will have to communicate with each other like mature, caring adults, and pull together for the sake of your kids. It might be difficult at first, but it’ll be worth it in the long run. For you and them.

Thanks, Kaytee!

— Dave

 * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

I’m a widow, and I retired recently. My husband took care of most of our finances. We never had any debt, but after my husband died and I started learning a little bit more about how money works, I’m concerned too much of it may be invested in CDs. The total nest egg is a little over $1.5 million, with $300,000 of that in CDs. There’s also a $317,000 annuity, a 403(b) and around $900,000 in IRA mutual funds. I want to learn even more about financial matters, so how do you think I should handle things going forward?

Naomi

Dear Naomi,

Well, the CDs (Certificates of Deposit) give you stability, if nothing else. They’re generally considered a safe, low-risk investment, but they don’t really give you the best bang for your bucks. If you’ve had good luck with a variable annuity, that’s fine, too. It sounds like you’ve also been very fortunate with your mutual fund investing. So, with all this money in different areas, you’re definitely diversified.

In my mind, it’s just a matter now of wrapping your arms around it all and developing a deeper understanding of things going forward. I’d urge you to find an investment professional in your area with the heart of a teacher. I’m talking about someone who wants to help people, and is interested in more than just making money off fees or commissions.

It sounds like you understand the value of learning about this stuff, and I’m really impressed by that. It’s a smart and necessary thing. From here on out, every time you see an investment person—whoever it may be—your goal should be to leave the room smarter, and with more financial understanding, than you had before.

Naomi, I’m truly sorry about your husband. But you two did an amazing job with your finances over the years. You’re worth well over $1.5 million, and you have no debt. So, you’re basically set for life.

Be wise, and be careful, Naomi. God bless you.

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

I graduated from college six years ago with a business degree. Currently, I’m in data analytics making about $40,000 a year and have $155,000 in student loan debt. Do you have any recommendations as far as refinancing my student loans and getting the interest rates and monthly payments down?

Austin

Dear Austin,

I’m not trying to be mean here, but what in the world are you doing in data analytics that pays so poorly? Most of the folks I know in that area make a ton more. And you’re going to need to start making a whole lot more to pay off $155,000 in student loans.

For starters, you shouldn’t be looking at this from a what-can-I-do-to-make-this-manageable perspective. You don’t want to give this Sallie Mae nightmare a haircut, then tell her to sit in the corner all nice and pretty. You want her to leave! Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with refinancing to get a lower interest rate, or lower payments, if you do it the right way. But in most cases that translates into keeping the debt around forever. You need a better plan.

Instead, let’s shift the main goal from that to paying this thing off as fast as possible. That means big, hairy chunks of payments on the principal. And that’ll probably mean picking up an extra job or two, because right now you’ve got what I call a shovel-to-hole ratio problem. The hole you’re in is a big one—a $155,000 one. And you’re working with a $40,000 shovel. You need a bigger shovel, and a lot of extra work, instead of trying to keep these loans around like they’re pets. What can you do—for a short period of time—that’s legal, moral and will make you the most money the fastest?

On the day job side of things, you may want to consider looking for a position with a different company, Austin. You’re way underpaid if you’re in data analytics and making just $40,000 a year.

Good luck!

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company Ramsey Solutions.

— Dave

Dear Dave,

My husband was recently told layoffs are about to happen at his company, and that it might be a good idea for him to start looking for another job. He has found a couple of good possibilities, but the jobs are located 100 miles away. In preparation for a possible move, we spoke with a real estate agent who told us we’d have to remodel our kitchen to sell the house. We’ve got about $4,000 in savings, but the agent said remodeling would take between $2,500 and $3,000. Should we get a second mortgage to pay for the work?

Natalie

Dear Natalie,

For starters, I’d suggest cutting expenses any way you can, living on a strict budget and saving as much cash as possible. But taking out a second mortgage? No! You don’t want that hanging over your heads.

You might want to get another opinion on the kitchen remodel, too. Sure, a new kitchen would be nice, but would it be a make-or-break kind of thing if you decide to sell your home? Probably not, unless it’s in really terrible shape right now. Regardless, there’s no way I’d go into debt to make this happen. I mean, your house isn’t even on the market yet. There’s no reason to fix up a house that’s not for sale, especially when you’ve got just $4,000 to your names.

My advice is to wait and see how the whole job situation plays out before making any big decisions. Then if you end up selling the house and moving, you might take $500 or so from savings to freshen up the kitchen a little bit.

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert and host of The Ramsey Show. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for the company Ramsey Solutions.