Dear Dave,

After hearing you talk about financial infidelity, I have to admit that I hide money from my husband. I have been setting aside money for emergencies without his knowledge. He is not terrible with money, but he always seems to find something to spend it on. Before I started doing this, we never managed to save much money at all. But now I feel like I have been doing something wrong. What should I do?

Lana

Dear Lana,

I believe in saving up for emergencies. I mean, I’m the guy who tells people to have three to six months of expenses saved in an emergency fund, right? But deception is never a positive thing in a relationship—especially a marriage. You need to talk to your husband about this.

I know it won’t be easy for you, so you have to make sure you tell him in the right way. Playing the blame game won’t help. Basically, you’ve been deceiving him about this. Sure, it sounds like he has been immature when it comes to your household finances, but you made the decision to hide things. You chose to do this instead of talking to him about your concerns.

Let’s start here. Tell your husband you need to talk to him about something important, and sit down together with no distractions. Explain what’s been going on, and that you’re sorry for not being honest about things, but you also need to speak up and tell him why you were doing this secretly. If you were afraid to disagree with him, tell him that. Tell him why, too, and let him know you just want the two of you to have a successful financial future, and that you’re committed to never hiding things again.     

Managing money in a marriage isn’t a “his” or “hers” thing. It’s a “we” thing. You can fix this, but it’s going to take some honesty, understanding and making an effort to work together toward the same goals—like saving or living on a written, monthly budget.

You each have a vote, but it also means you have to stand up and vote no, Lana, if he wants to blow money on silly stuff when you guys don’t have your finances in order.

— Dave

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

I need help. I am way behind on my basic utilities and my taxes. I have tried to start the Baby Steps, but everything is so overwhelming right now that it is easy to get discouraged. I am 33, I live in Los Angeles, and I average around $30,000 a year doing behind-the-scenes work in the entertainment industry. My total debt is about $10,000. Can you give me some advice?

Cameron

Dear Cameron,

I know you’re in a scary place right now, brother. But I’m glad you’re getting on board and that you want to move in the right direction with your finances.

Before you start the Baby Steps, you should get current on all your bills. Make a list of all the bills you’re late on and how much it will take to get current on each one. Then, create a written, monthly budget. Once that’s done, and all your expenses and income are accounted for, you’re going to squeeze every penny you can from there and work your late list from smallest to largest until everything’s current. You’re going to feel a sense of relief—and accomplishment—every time you flip one of these bills. And believe it or not, the act of simply making a list will help reduce the stress you’re feel, because just by doing that you’ve established the size of the dragon. This dragon must die, and you are the knight who’s going to kill it.

But listen, there are two sides to this equation—income and outgo. No offense, but $30,000 a year as an income in Los Angeles stinks. You’ve got to do something to make more money. Hey, $10,000 would literally change your life. Not everyone can say that. The bad news is, you’ve got $10,000 worth of debt. The good news is, you’ve got only $10,000 worth of debt. I’m not talking about some little minimum wage deal, either. I want you making some real money. Don’t do anything illegal, or something that would compromise your morals, but get after making some good money.

And long term? Dude, you might want to think about taking a step up in your industry or even a full-blown career change. I mean, you don’t want to be making $30,000 a year and still working a side job when you’re 50, right?

You could be debt-free, and have a much better life, in a year or less, Cameron. Go do this.

I want you to win!

— Dave

  * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national bestselling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth, and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

I am getting older, and health issues over the last year have made me begin thinking about selling my small business. I have spoken with a couple of potential buyers recently, and one of them seems to be the kind of person who would handle the company very well. How and when do I tell my employees about what is going on and what may happen?

Marjorie

Dear Marjorie,

In my mind, to be a good, effective leader you have to be willing to share and discuss things with your team—whether they’re good or bad. When talking to the folks at my company, I try not to get into a lot of unnecessary stuff, but if there’s any doubt, I’m going to over-share rather than leave them fearful, uninformed or confused.

Think about it this way. If the roles were reversed, and you were in their shoes, when would you want to know? If you’d worked for someone a few years, would you feel betrayed if you didn’t know about something like this? It might sound simple, but I think that’s a good, fair way to process the situation.

If I make a mistake with my team, it’s always going to be in terms of over-communication. I expect and trust them to be mature adults in the workplace, and they know this ahead of time. Still, I try to make sure I’m very transparent about how we’re doing as a team and as a company. No small business owner can be successful unless they have great people around them. Your team needs to hear that once in a while, too, in addition to knowing you’re always going to keep them in the loop and shoot straight with them.

Human beings just want to be treated with dignity and respect. They want to know what’s going on where they work. When it’s something that impacts their day-to-day lives—and potentially their livelihoods—they deserve to know the facts as quickly as possible.

— Dave

  * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.

Dear Dave,

My wife and I are in our late-twenties, and we have a full emergency fund saved up. Our only debt is our home. We have talked about having a child sometime next year, but I am on the road three weeks a month for my job. I don’t want to be gone so much once we have a child, and I am thinking about opening my own business, so I can eliminate the travel and control my hours better. Do you have any thoughts on this situation?

Mike

Dear Mike,

An entrepreneur is the person I know who can go from sheer terror to sheer exhilaration and back every few hours. You’ve got to have a strong mind and a strong heart to be successful, plus there’s a good chance your idea won’t last long if you don’t love what you’re doing. Remember, too, you’re basically on straight commission as an entrepreneur, and there probably wouldn’t be a regular paycheck you could count on for a while.

Okay, that was a quick dose of reality. Now, if time and money weren’t considerations, what would you rather do—stay at your current job or run your own business?

My advice to anyone, entrepreneur or not, is to make sure your work falls in line with the passions, skills and talents you were born with. You don’t need to work in the construction business if you don’t like being outdoors and working with your hands, just like you don’t want to be stuck in a call center if you hate talking on the phone and being cooped up inside all day.

Everyone wants to be successful in their job, enjoy what they do and make lots of money. But personal happiness is just as important. If you wake up excited about what you’re facing every day, chances are you’ll be successful and happy. If you wake up dreading the day and your job, I can almost guarantee you won’t be successful or happy.

You’ve got a lot more thinking and research to do, Mike. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change jobs or be an entrepreneur. Being able to spend more time with your family is a noble and worthwhile thing, too. But I’m not hearing a lot of direction in what you’re saying right now. Maybe work with a career coach, and spend some time tossing ideas around with your wife. I know you both want great things for your child, but you’re not going to make the best possible decisions for yourself—and your family—without a lot more planning and thoughtful discussion.

* Dave Ramsey is an eight-time national best-selling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 18 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people regain control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.